AM Birthday today

I can not believe that my son is 14 today....... 14 years ago on a Thursday morning I woke up in pain having contractions and decided to go see my OB since I wasn't due for another 2 weeks. She told me I was dilated to an 5 and to get over the the hospital and she would be there in a few minutes to break my water. After only a few hours he was here.... all 8 pounds of him and he was so fat and cute and bald......... As he has grown up he has always been a very sweet tender hearted kid who care about everyone and has never met an enemy at all.....He is in band and plays tennis and is now officially taller then I am and I look back on that day think this time has passed way to quickly. He is always my good kid I never have to ask him to do anything twice. He has struggled with reading and his dyslexia and his dysgraphia but is getting better everyday. He is a bright kid who just needed a little help with his reading and writing. He has grown to love tennis and does very well at it... Who would have seen that coming.... He has also liked playing his Clarinet up until this year and he just doesn't love it anymore.... I remember when he was little and I would ask him what he wanted to be when he was older and he would always tell me a Vet because he loves animals..... Still today this is what he wants to be when he grows up....... His love for 4 legged animals and even ones without feet is great we call him the dog whisperer because animal that seem to dislike everyone else seem to love him..... So now we are looking next year to high school and the things he wants to do with his life... I know college is in there and he wants to go out of state which I am not sure how this mommy is going to handle that but I am sure he will be able to do anything he puts his very strong and smart mind to........Happy Birthday my son I am so proud of you

TGIF

We had a wonderful fun filled weekend last weekend and a crazy week of CHRISTmas programs that will continue into next week...... Today at work we had college day and decorated our door.... Most creative won ... I didn't get creative with mine ...we have 3 people in here and 6 colleges between us.... so we did what we could....I would have like the 5 free jeans day ......oh well...... This weekend is full of talent shows and birthday parties and spending some family time........

NRH Tree Lighting

Got our CHRISTmas Tree up

GC loves his daddy

KN first basketball  PEP Rally

KE Christmas Program with KI


Have a wonderful weekend

AG Birthday

Today is Nov the 6th which is AG birthday.... She would have been 9 years old today I look back on the last 7 years since she has past and am not sure how I feel like I have been dealing with it. I think I mostly shut down and just don't deal with it. In our super busy lives since her passing I have barely time to do anything much less feel like I have grieved this great lose.  Parents are not suppose to bury their children but sadly it is something I had to do. I hate that my other children have had to struggle with the lose of their sister and that they are not the same happy go lucky kids that they should be. They miss their sister I think even more then they ever even let me know. She is still a daily part of our lives. We talk about her often and she is never far from our minds. I have trouble coming to terms with the fact I am still mad. Mad at her for disobeying me and going outside unsupervised or the fact she had never gone around the pool at all before that day. That if she had not she would be a happy health 3rd grader doing normal things like math and learning to read and write. Also that I would get to see those stunning blue eyes everyday and that fiery red hair and temper that she had... Thought I would never miss that temper but I do.... Hearing her laugh so loudly and playing with her siblings. I know she is in Heaven and one day we will all be together again. Until that day I miss her and love more then words can even express...... everyone tells me that time heals and it does get better but so far it just get worse and harder every year. I hate the way this affects my 3 living children and KE the most. She is so sad most days and tries so hard to be a normal 10 year old but most 10 year old children have not lost their best friend and sister. So this is just a look into a grieving families life....

This is a poem my oldest KN found and it is very true.....

.Her hair was up in a ponytail

her favorite dress tied with a bow

today was daddy's day at school

and she couldn't wait to go

but her mommy tried to tell her

that she probably should stay home

why the kids might not understand

if she went to school alone

but she was not afraid

she knew just what to say

what to tell her classmates

of why he wasn't there today

but still her mother worried

for her to face this day alone

and that is why once again

she tried to keep her daughter home

but the little girl went to school

eager to tell them all

about a dad she never sees

a dad who never calls

there were daddies along the wall in the back for everyone to meet

children squirming impatiently

anxious in their seats

one by one the teacher called

a student from the class

to introduce their daddy,

as seconds slowly passed

at last the teacher called her name

every child turned to stare

each of them was searching a man who wasn't there

she went to the front of the class

as she smiled up at her mom

and looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on

and with hands behind her back

she slowly began to speak

and from out the mouth of a child came words incredibly unique

'my daddy couldn't be here

because he lives so far away

but i know he wishes he could be

since this is such a special day

and though u cannot meet him

i wanted you to know

all about my daddy and how much he loves me so

he loved to tell me story

she taught me to ride my bike

he surprised me with pink roses

and taught me to fly a kite

we used to share fudge sundaes

and ice cream in a cone

and though you cannot see him

I'm not standing here alone

cause my daddy is always with me

even though we are apart

i know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart"

with that her little hand reached up

and lay across her chest

feeling her own heart beat

beneath her favorite dress

and from somewhere in the crowd of dads

her mother stood in tears

proudly watched her daughter

who was wise beyond her years

she finished with a voice so soft

but its message clear and loud...

'i love my daddy very much

hes my shining star

and if he could, he'd be here

..but heavens just too far' her hair was up in a ponytail her favorite dress tied with a bow today was daddy's day at school and she couldn't wait to go but her mommy tried to tell her that she probably should stay home why the kids might not understand if she went to school alone but she was not afraid she knew just what to say what to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today but still her mother worried for her to face this day alone and that is why once again she tried to keep her daughter home but the little girl went to school eager to tell them all about a dad she never sees a dad who never calls there were daddies along the wall in the back for everyone to meet children squirming impatiently anxious in their seats one by one the teacher called a student from the class to introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed at last the teacher called her name every child turned to stare each of them was searching a man who wasn't there she went to the front of the class as she smiled up at her mom and looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on and with hands behind her back she slowly began to speak and from out the mouth of a child came words incredibly unique my daddy couldn't be here because he lives so far away but i know he wishes he could be since this is such a special day and though u cannot meet him I wanted you to know all about my daddy and how much he loves me so he loved to tell me stories he taught me to ride my bike he surprised me with pink rose and taught me to fly a kite we used to share fudge sundae and ice cream in a cone and though you cannot see him I'm not standing here alone cause my daddy is always with me even though we are apart I  know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart"with that her little hand reached up and lay across her chest feeling her own heart beat beneath her favorite dress and from somewhere in the crowd of dads her mother stood in tears proudly watched her daughter who was wise beyond her years she finished with a voice so soft but its message clear and loud...'i love my daddy very much hes my shining star and if he could, he'd be here ..but heavens just too far'